Sunday, June 29, 2008

Reality Shift

I'm venturing away from my main topic (gardening, etc.) with this post, but regardless here goes.

Yesterday was my last day at my job.

Yesterday I left my full-time, benefit-giving, regular-paychecking job. It's a little freaky to not be part of that particular mainstream - the one driving in every morning from the outer edges to the city center - but it feels good, too. I don't quite believe it yet, but it is slowly dawning on me that I've shifted my reality.

Now I will drive in maybe once or twice a week to work the Farmer's Market or to attend a meeting. Instead of driving my car to work, I'm going to bike to a friend's farm and work at whatever they tell me to do. It's a big change, but it feels exhilirating in a way. I feel like I'm beginning to pay attention to something inside me that needs attention. The little voice that informs my soul as to what is right and wrong and how to act on that. For me and for this moment it's the right choice.

I keep forgetting that my time has opened up and that it's freer than before. I think about a list of chores that is longer than any piece of paper known to humankind. My shoulders tense. I feel a sense of stress and foreboding. And then I remember that isn't true any more. I do have space and time now. I know I'll effectively fill it in short order, but I also know that I have more control now over how it gets filled.

1 comment:

a10 said...

Yes! I am jealous. What a feeling. You are on the cutting edge of the new economy that is arising (or falling depending on how you look at it).